How I Finally Got A Bikini Body

Inside: Want a bikini body? It’s easier than you think to get one.

Love Your Bikini Body

When I was a child, there were a few things I thought I’d do when I was a grown-up: Put on lipstick and heels every day, have hair like Jaclyn Smith in “Charlie’s Angels”, and wear a bikini.

Since then, I’ve accepted my hair’s limitations and the fact that I’m more of a flats-and-Chapstick girl.

But the bikini? I was always waiting.

I was waiting until I finally lost five pounds, until my stomach was flatter, until my thighs were toned, until I found a self-tanner that looked natural, until the laws of the universe changed and I woke up one morning with long, thin legs. I went to the Us Weekly School of Bikini Bodies and graduated with the firm belief that a bikini body looked a certain way. And my body never looked like that.

Then a funny thing happened.

I went on vacation to Aruba last week. I arrived with my suitcase full of modest, tummy-covering swim tops and skirted bottoms and realized that everyone else was wearing a bikini.

And by everyone, I mean everyone. Women with soft bellies. Women with cellulite. Tall women. Short women. Women in all shapes and sizes. Moms. GRANDMAS. And 99 percent of those women wearing bikinis didn’t have Us Weekly Authorized Bikini Bodies.

I was immediately envious of these women. They looked completely at ease. They looked confident. They looked comfortable. They looked wonderful. My modest swimsuits, which had always made me feel secure, suddenly had the opposite effect. They felt horribly wrong.

When packing my suitcase for vacation, I’d thrown in a bikini on a whim that I’d bought many years ago but that had never seen the light of day. And on the third morning of our vacation, I put it on. I locked myself in the bathroom and stayed there for a long time, looking in the mirror and wondering whether I could do it. Whether I should do it.

And nobody laughed.

I finally came out, went to the pool with my husband and kids, and took off my cover-up.

Nobody laughed. Or tsked-tsked my soft, pale midriff. The Earth kept spinning. The editors of Us Weekly didn’t appear to issue me a citation for Wearing A Bikini While Having A Mom Pooch.

And I felt fantastic. The sun and water on my bare belly felt incredible. It felt freeing.

I suddenly remembered a Facebook meme I’d seen once: How to know if you have a “bikini body”: Do you have a body? Do you have a bikini? If so, you have a bikini body.

So I suddenly had a bikini body. Because I decided to wear one. Because I decided to stop wishing my body would change and start accepting my body as it is, including all of the soft parts, the dimpled parts, and the stretch-marked parts.

While writing this post, I wondered what kind of photo to include. Did I really have the guts to share a photo of myself in a bikini? But then I remembered that this has nothing to do with what I look like in a bikini. It’s about how I feel. And it’s not about whether you think I’m worthy of wearing one. It’s about me deciding that I’m worthy.

And if there’s anything I learned from the Aruba School of Bikini Bodies, it’s this: That’s the only thing that actually matters.

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56 Comments

  1. This is a beautiful post. So many women (and young girls!) need to read this.

  2. Such a great post Sally & I can totally relate! Although I usually wear a tankini, sometimes I venture out in my bikini, and it’s such a great feeling swimming in the ocean in a bikini 🙂 I’m so glad you shared this, and SO glad you finally got to wear that bikini!

  3. I LOVE THIS! I’ve been reading your blog for awhile and finally decided to comment after reading this. I think I’m going to buy myself a bikini this summer! Thank you.

  4. Awesome article! Well put. I had the exact same experience last summer, after seeing my 50 year old mother rocking a bikini, being comfortable with herself. I had an epiphine and realized I could wear one too, after all my life believing my body wasn’t acceptable. It was an amazing, freeing experience, enjoying my body, cellulite, fat and all.
    Glad to see someone write about this in a very relatable way, exposing the fact that our beliefs about image are cultural and mental, not actual truth.

    1. Jay–thanks so much for your comment. Love that you had the same experience too–and well said: “our beliefs about image are cultural and mental, not actual truth”.

  5. I decided at age 50 it was now or never so I bought a bikini (the first in 30 plus years) and wore it in Costa Rica. No one even noticed. In Mexico now and have proudly worn it again. Like you said there are bodies of all shapes, sizes and ages wearing them and I fit right it.

  6. Sally, what a wonderful post! I can completely relate, as I did exactly the same thing two years ago when I was on vacation in the Dominican Republic. It was such a powerful and positive experience. Thank you for articulating it so beautifully. Wishing you and your fabulous bikini body the happiest of birthdays!

    1. Thank you Janet! Glad you hear you had the same experience and glad it was so positive and powerful for you too. 🙂

  7. Yes Sally!! Thanks for sharing. Now to dig out my suit…

  8. Full disclosure: I’m PMSing, but this totally made me tear up. Simple. True. Real. Loved it.

  9. Thank you so much Sally for being so brave and writing about it so poignantly! May we all ditch our “mom suits” and rock bikinis this summer! Yolo!

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  12. Amazing! Exactly what i needed to read! As i prepare for my honeymoon in october all i can think about is having the perfect bikini bottom but all that matters is that i feel beautiful and my soon to be husband thinks i am beautiful! Not everyone else!

  13. This is such an inspiring post to so many women out there! I have seen your post shared by so many bloggers with their link love and I am so glad they decided to share it with me! We get so caught up in life and being the perfect person compared to what we think is perfect we waste so much time that we forget what is really important! And I think your confidence just goes to show that we are all perfect if we just learn to show what we have and celebrate ourselves and our bodies!

  14. Your body will change any times over your lifetime. I am 63 and still wear my 2 piece swim suit. I do not wear a bikini any more but my 2 piece is just fine. I dont care that people may look at me funny in some places. I am what I am and proud of the woman in my skin. When you are young you look at things much different. I have survived raising 3 boy on my own, working a male dominated job for 33 years and a health crisis that almost took my life at 45. After a month in intensive care and a long recovery my life is precious. My boyfriend and I were out to dinner on Saturday night eating and listening to a band at a local restaurant we like when I noticed a young woman starring at us and covering her mouth talking to her daughter obviously about us old folks , they were laughing. I just smiled and felt sorry for the daughter because she will grow up with such a small world view of people. You see we never know what someones story is. So always remember to wear your skin proudly what ever shape it comes in.

    1. Janice–I love your comment. Thank you so much for sharing this perspective with us!

  15. Thank you! I do this same thing to myself. I’m always waiting for the next reason why I shouldnt put one on! This last vacation I took, I finally just wore a bikini and I ended up not feeling as terrible as I thought it would! Great post!

    1. Heather–Thank you so much. That’s great to hear! Here’s to not waiting anymore. 🙂

  16. I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed this post (I followed the link from Lindsay’s Bean Bites). Thank you for your honesty and transparency in an area so many of us struggle with.

  17. Thanks for this post! I too, think it’s beautiful when women own the imperfect perfection of their bodies. I’m a dietitian, newly 40 years old, and have had (and breastfed) five babies, and have my fair share of “crepe paper” in spots that used to be smooth and firm. That only adds to (not subtracts from!) the pride and honor that I have for my body.

    Did you see this?
    This elite runner had her second baby shortly before qualifying for the Olympic trials with an A standard in the 10k. She unabashedly showed the world her belly from her own point of view.
    https://www.instagram.com/p/BDBd-euinzZ/

    1. Thanks Jessica! I did see that story and am really impressed by her. Way to show that fit bodies don’t look one certain way.

  18. I finally started feeling comfortable in my bikini when I started looking around at the men–men with all kinds of bellies, rocking their swim trunks, not wearing a sunshirt over some pretty significant “beers bellies”. And I thought “why can’t girls/women do this too?”

    1. Emily–ha! That is so true. Great point. If they can feel comfortable, so can we!

  19. What a great message about body positivity and confidence at every size!! Love it!!!

  20. Thank you for writing this. It is the truth. All of the messages and voices saying otherwise are lying. It feels good to wear a two piece at the beach or pool when it is hot.
    I stumbled across this post while accessing your vacation meal planner. Thank you for your positive helpful resources.

    1. Jill–Thank you so much! I’m so glad you found this post. 🙂