I haven’t featured my sixth grader in this What We Ate Wednesday series in a while for a reason. He’s been having some stomach pain that has made feeding him difficult. I want to respect his privacy and not share lots of details but suffice it to say that his appetite has been limited, as have the foods he’s been willing to eat. So please: No “this isn’t enough food for an 11 year old” or “shouldn’t that bagel be whole wheat” because we are doing the best we can. And also, read How Feeding A Tween Is Harder. (Can you tell I’m feeling a little defensive and stressed about this?) Besides, I figured that bumps in the road are a part of life that I should share too. So with that said, here’s everything he had yesterday:
He’s been liking pretty bland breakfasts, so he had a plain bagel with lots of butter and a glass of chocolate milk.
I packed his lunch, which was cheese and crackers, carrots with dip (in the silver container), yogurt, pears, and freeze-dried strawberries (I love those things and so do my kids–strawberries are the only ingredient). He ate everything here but several carrots.
I asked him to take photos of the snacks he ate while staying after school to do homework. He bought a bag of chips from the vending machine and ate a raspberry, cashew and chia KIND bar that I had packed in his bag for him.
Dinner was brown rice and beef stir fry with broccoli, peppers, and carrots (it’s the Peanutty Stir-Fry from my book with Cooking Light, Dinnertime Survival Guide, which is a big-time family favorite recipe around here) plus a wedge of cantaloupe and a glass of water. He ate most of this.
After dinner he had half of this Baby Ruth from his candy stash (a gallon-size bag in the cabinet where all candy from Easter, Halloween, birthday parties, and otherwise go into).
Before bed, he fixed himself some unsweetened applesauce with a generous sprinkling of cinnamon.
Thanks, as always, for keeping it real and being honest about the struggles you are having on your journey. It makes us all feel more normal!! I hope your son’s stomach pain/issues get better for him soon.
Thank you Allison! Means a lot. It’s sometimes hard to put this out there for the judgement of others, but I do it because I want to be truthful–and if it helps someone in some way, it’s worth it. Thanks again for your support!
Sorry to hear about your son’s stomach troubles, but honestly, I’m not sure you need to be defensive anyway – this looks like a perfectly reasonable day’s diet to me. And about whole wheat vs. white bagels, I sincerely doubt it makes a whole lot of difference either way. A bagel is a bagel, and I haven’t seen any compelling evidence that whole-wheatifying everything does any particular good anyway (except perhaps for regularity, but likely the carrots, broccoli, and Kind bar will more than take care of any issues in that direction!).
Thanks Anna. There were some whole grains in there for sure. As a dietitian, I have at tendency to overthink food choices sometimes. This whole situation has forced me to stop doing that to some extent!
I dont know about anyone else but coming from a fellow dietitian I think you are doing great!! I didnt eat nearly that healthy as a 6th grader! Keep it up it looks like he is doing a great job! I think it is hard at that age too mainly because of peer-pressure everyone else is letting their kids eat crap so it isn’t always the coolest thing to pull out fruit from your lunchbox! Thank you for sharing and keepin it real!
Thanks Marla. You are right–the peer pressure is real, as is the desire to be cool with friends. Finding that balance between what you want them to eat and what they want can be hard. Thanks for your comment!
I think it’s great that you are sharing his challenges here – it just shows that no matter who we are and what our professional experience is, our kids are REAL and our daily struggles are REAL too! Every family has something they are going through – and the pretty picture that social media portrays just furthers our isolation in our private struggles… It looks like he did a great job making healthy eating choices here. I hope that he finds some relief soon. xo M.
“The pretty picture that social media portrays just furthers our isolation in our private struggles”. Gosh, you are spot on! Thank you Michelle.
Thank you for showing us the struggles that even well educated professionals have with their children’s diets. We all do the best we can regardless of what others think and that means picking your battles with the tricky eaters! Well done!
Carol–you are so right, it’s all about picking battles. Thanks for your nice words!
It looks to me like he got some awesome nutrition on this day. No stress, mama!
I sometimes remind myself of piece of (paraphrased) advice from Ellyn Satter: you’ll drive yourself crazy trying to be satisfied with what your kids EAT; better instead to take pleasure and satisfaction in what you SERVE.
I wish I had a plate of that stir-fry in front of me right now! Yum!
Terita–I love those wise words from Ellyn Satter. Gotta keep that in mind when I beat myself up over this stuff. Thank you! š
Hi Sally,
This is a great post! I’m an Australian paediatric dietitian and SOS feeding therapist, Mum to 3 young boys and feeding difficulties in children is one of my areas of “expertise”. Despite this, like you, we have plenty of “sub-optimal” days. Most days any veges packed in the lunch box come home and there are endless requests for “just a vegemite sandwich” for lunch. I know deep down I’d love them to just eat what they’re served but for now I’ll have to be happy with them serving themselves the plain spaghetti whilst suspiciously eyeing off the bowl of Bolognese sauce in the middle of the table.
Feeding kids is hard work, take the small wins when you get them, that’s real life! And thanks for the idea of freeze dried strawberries, thats not one I’ve thought to try!
Julia
Sorry you’re all going through tough times. It’s so crappy to not feel well and not know the cause. You’re doing a great job, Sally, and he’s a lucky kid. Hope things improve soon.
Sally,
I commend you on your bravery of showing what your kids eat. I can say firsthand it’s not easy being a dietitian mom. Sometimes I wonder how the kids of judgmental food parents will turn out in the long run. Maybe some will keep eating “pure” but I fear many will struggle. You are doing a superb job of balancing feeding by allowing reasonable choice with guidance. When my kids are sick, I allow them more choice in their food because only they know how their body feels. I’ve suffered with GI problems in the past and I know first hand fiber doesn’t work so well. Keep up the awesome job…you are an inspiration to all of us!!
Maryann–Thank you so much for your comment. That means a lot coming from you because I personally really admire your food approach. Ditto on what you say about GI problems. When I have nausea, the last thing I want is a vegetable or even a protein-rich food. I want bland carbohydrates or anything that feels remotely comforting. Again, thank you for chiming in. Really appreciate it.
Well this Canadian eating disorders dietitian says great job-mom and son! Good thing you only have to look in the mirror to find an “up to date registered dietitian”!
Thanks Lynette! š
Thank you for keeping it real! Feeding kids is hard, and I really do think low stress is the way to go. Back in December, my oldest (age 10) had a 24-hour stomach bug – and the last thing that he ate before getting sick was a homemade smoothie. For about 3 or 4 months after his illness, he refused to drink smoothies or eat anything resembling a fruit or veg. Painful! It was hard but I kept serving fruits and vegetables, tried not to pressure him, and bought some vitamins. He lost weight (and is small to begin with) – and we are just now getting back on track. I like that you are giving your kids more autonomy over what they eat – I need to do more of that. They need to find their own way – and, chances are, they will return to their foundation of Mom’s healthy whole food meals.
Thanks Stacy! It’s hard when you get sick on a healthy food–you just don’t want it for a long time. That happened to me while I was pregnant (the offending food: chicken). Thanks for your support and for your comment!
Thank you for sharing your challenges and your honesty. If we are honest, we all have at least something we are dealing with. By the way, I also crave his breakfast when I am having stomach issues myself. Hope he heals, I know it is hard on us moms!