As you know, I don’t take a hardline approach when it comes to food. I leave wiggle room for birthday party punch and the occasional bowl of boxed macaroni and cheese. I know that the best-laid plans for a healthy meal can go south thanks to evening school events, last minute invitations to have pizza with friends, or garden variety end-of-day exhaustion.
Yet I do have a handful of guidelines that steer my meal planning and decision making when it comes to food. They form the basis for how I feed myself and my family. I also use them to teach my kids the healthy habits I think will serve them well in life. We don’t always stick to them (see above exceptions and curveballs), and I don’t enforce them in a controlling manner. (And I’m not suggesting these are the right rules for everyone to adopt.)
But I like to think of these as our family default settings for healthy eating. Though we may stray from them–some weeks, more than others–they’re what we come back to:
1. Only veggies in the hour before dinner
The pre-dinner snack is very tricky, especially with hungry kids. But I finally settled on a system that works for us. The house rule: If you’re hungry in the hour before dinner, you may have an “appetizer” of veggies or you can simply wait for dinner. My older son typically waits. My younger son happily eats a dish of pepper rings, a big carrot left whole, or a bowl of crunchy romaine leaves. Read more about this in My Pre-Dinner Snack Strategy.
2. No more than one sweet drink a day
I talk to the kids a lot about sweet drinks because they’re such a problem in our current food culture. What counts as a sweet drink? Chocolate milk, 100% juice, soda, lemonade, fruit punch, and anything else with sugar.
3. Dessert no more than once a day
This one can actually be a tough one for me, since chocolate frequently calls to me after lunch AND dinner. But limiting it to once a day helps keep my sweet tooth in check. The same rule applies to the kids. Since they like to have a sweet treat after (sometimes with) dinner, I typically don’t pack a goodie in their lunchboxes or serve sweets at other times.
4. Everyone has a vegetable on the table they like
As in most households, our individual veggie preferences don’t always align. My younger son and I love broccoli; my husband can’t bear it. We all eat salads except my younger son. Everyone but me likes peas. I try to serve two veggies with dinner (one is usually a green salad). But as long as everyone’s got a veggie available that they like, I’m happy. (Here’s a broccoli recipe half of us love: 15 Minute Roasted Broccoli and a Brussels sprouts recipe three-quarters of us enjoy: Roasted Balsamic Brussels Sprouts)
5. Water or milk with lunch and dinner
Coffee and sometimes OJ show up at breakfast. Otherwise, we only have water or milk available for meals. Exceptions sometimes (but not always) apply at restaurants.
6. Meatless Monday dinners
I talk to the kids about the importance of eating lots of plant foods and moderating meat consumption. So far, I’ve had mixed reviews for Meatless Monday since it’s also a night when I also tend to experiment more. For every hit (tomato alphabet soup), we’ve had a few misses (zucchini fritters).
7. Fruit as the snack default
If my kids come to me saying they’re hungry for a snack, I always offer fruit first. Usually, they take me up on it and might add something else, like peanut butter with apples or a banana with some crackers.
Do you have any family “food rules” or guidelines that you eat by?
Sign up for my weekly email and you'll receive a FREE e-book, "16 Game-Changing Tips For Feeding Kids".
This is very similar to our ‘food rules’ too. We only drink water at home (‘fun’ drinks are saved for special occasions or when out and about). I only offer fruit for snack time or sometimes string cheese. I feel that if we stick to these guidelines at home, then having the occasional artificial treat when at a birthday party or during the holidays isn’t going to hurt anyone (though…we do see the effects of it…). 🙂 Great post!
Thanks LeAnn. Yes, sweet drinks seem to be everywhere in the world which is why I try to limit them. A soda at a party, a chocolate milk at school, a lemonade at a school event event, it can really add up. And I agree, when you keep things pretty standard at home that stuff when you’re out and about, or special holiday foods, aren’t a big deal.
We have a lot of the same rules (not surprising). I have one that I use with my family with regard to new dishes: Everyone must taste one forkful before deciding whether or not they like it. My pickiest eater won’t eat something if she thinks it’s “ugly” or it has an ingredient she doesn’t recognize (sweet potatoes took her by surprise because they are ugly on the outside and pretty on the inside – she loves them now). Thanks for sharing!
Beth–So funny that your daughter uses the label “ugly” to describe something that doesn’t look good to her. It’s nice that she can put it into words like that. I’m glad she’s been pleasantly surprised by how yummy some of those are! 🙂
Wonderful habits to instill in the whole family early on!
Thanks Jessica!
We do a lot of the same rules. For dinner I only prepare one veggie but they are allow to substitute any others that are available – usually baby carrots, green pepper strips, or reheated leftover broccoli. I don’t require a bite. And I extend the fruit for snacks into the evening. After dinner if you are still hungry, fruit is available. We rarely have sweet drinks, but when we do its only one a day. I don’t count coffee because I only put half and half in it, no sweetener. My 12 year old son likes decaf the same way, and I don’t count that for him either.
Tara–I don’t require a bite either. Just doesn’t work for my younger son’s stubborn temperament!
I love this, Sally! I don’t think it would hurt to incorporate some of these tricks into my OWN life…like only veggies before dinner! You are totally supermom. PS–love the new look over here!
Thanks Alexis! And definitely–these tricks help me out too! (especially the sweets rule) I generally don’t get too uptight about food but having these baseline habits in mind is definitely helpful. And thanks for your kind words about the site!
Great list!!! I love the two veg at dinner rule, and the fact that you are sure to offer one that you know that they like. One of our big rules is to BE POLITE when refusing a food (and in general, of course). It’s OK to not want a food but you must be respectful when saying “No, thanks.” Also, we try to limit sweets to one a day, and one way that I do it is by giving them a choice: You can have that hot chocolate with whipped cream or you can have dessert. Dessert is usually something small like a piece of dark chocolate, a graham cracker or strawberries with whipped cream. It works for us!
I love these rules for children and adults. I sometimes want dessert after lunch and dinner too! But if your kids can do it, so can I! The veggies only before dinner is perfect too!
Hi! I just discovered your blog and I love it! These “food rules” are great. I thought I’d share one of mine: a veggie or a fruit with every meal or snack. Even if we’re in a huge hurry and I grab something like string cheese for the road, I’ll always take the extra minute to cut up a carrot or rinse a handful of berries. I hope my kids grow up believing that fresh produce belongs on every plate. Thanks for your great insights!
Terita–Yes! That’s a great one. Thank you for sharing it.
Great ideas! Your confessed “flops” on meatless Monday begs the question: what do you do when a new recipe flops?
Hi Ashley–we do the best we can with muddling through it and enjoying seconds of the sides 🙂 and then I’ll either scrap the recipe or modify it next time I make it.
I just came across one of your articles about snacks at kid’s sporting events and I have had the same feeling for years. I have slowly tried to change the snacks that my children get at school but some teachers just keep using candy for rewards. Most of your tips listed I am actually doing except for 1 dessert a day which I have more or less limited to once a week or on weekends (except on vacation). I have just starting trying to incorporate one vegetarian meal a week but have not had much success with the kids. I look forward to reading more of your posts and recipes. Thank you for speaking out about our children’s nutrition.
I thought this was an awesome article! So much that I created a list and posted on my fridge!! We have a rule of 1 can of pop on Soda Saturday’s. Thanks for sharing the tips!!