I organized the Valentine’s Day party in my son’s classroom this year. We have a lot of food allergies among the third graders–and I’m always looking for ways to reduce junk anyway–so we planned a buffet of red fruits and vegetables: red pepper strips, dried cherries, red raspberries, pomegranate seeds, strawberries, and all-fruit smoothies.
My son’s school has pretty strict guidelines about outside food. Each classroom receives a list of safe foods for class parties (based on allergies), and you’re not supposed to deviate from the list.
But apparently, there’s a Valentine Loophole.
So while I was busy and distracted arranging raspberries and handing out smoothies, my kids spent most of the party eating candy.
Since when did Valentine’s Day become the next Trick-or-Treat? Since when did candy Valentines become the norm? I don’t remember candy Valentines when I was growing up. I remember maybe getting a small box of conversation hearts from one child in the class. The rest were paper Valentines, no candy attached. I still loved getting those Valentines. I still loved Valentine’s Day.
Look, I’m okay with some candy. On Valentine’s Day, I gave each of my boys a small box of chocolates and they shared a little package of conversation hearts.
What I’m not okay with is food companies fabricating yet another way to market and sell junk to our kids. Because what they’re also creating is yet another way to make life harder on parents, who already defend against a daily assault of unhealthy food aimed at kids, who already have to say “no” and “not today” over and over and over.
I could confiscate my children’s candy. But I don’t. (Read: “The Mom I Can’t Be”.) What I will do is talk to the principal and preschool director at my children’s schools, and advocate for some kind of policy for next year.
If you feel the same way, I encourage you to do that too.
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Robin Jingjit says
Even though there ended up being all kinds of candy changing hands at that party, if my kid would have been in your class, I would have LOVED all those great foods you arranged.
If it weren’t for intentionally healthful parents, my kids wouldn’t be able to eat anything at a class party like that. But the good news is last Tuesday at my son’s preschool Valentine’s day, they all happily ate heart-shaped apples and watermelon, grapes, and carrot hearts. There were cookies, too, but this way my son had something to eat, and all the other kids still ate the fruits and veggies, too.
Katie C says
My daughter is only 4 but I always try to bring the fruit or veggies or yogurt to the parties… I think its easier to cut up carrots and cucumbers then it is to make cookies! Don’t get me wrong a little treat is nice, but a tray of cookies, cupcakes, lollipops, marshmellows etc. is just overboard IMO
Bri says
I spoke up! 🙂 Nice to feel like I’m not alone in just being overwhelmed by the candysplosion. http://www.redroundorgreen.com/2013/02/16/the-letter/
Christy says
I am still angry that there were candies attached to my son’s valentines in preschool. Not only because I think that we indulge in enough sugar in America as it is, but because of this story: I picked him up from school and he was anxious to get home so he could look at all of his Valentines. I thought it was so sweet that he was so excited about them. Until we got home and he started ripping through the bag at lightning speed, looking for the candy (I hadn’t known that anyone had given out candy until then). My heart sank. It completely took away from the whole idea of giving someone a note, you know? He eventually asked me to help him figure out who had given him which card, but at that point, the magic was gone.
Melissa says
Why does it have to be a ‘policy’? Can’t it be as simple as sending out an email to other parents saying, “Hey — let’s get together this year and think of fun, healthy Valentine’s treats!” And pass along some of the many available links to ideas blogs with heart-shaped watermelon slices and the like. I agree with your desired outcome, but can’t we just take a gentler approach that would encourage buy-in from other parents and not alienate those who like to bake, or those who are too busy to do more than pick up a bag of SweetTarts?
Incidentally, my son has a child with food allergies in his class. He’s allergic to citrus, berries, etc., which rules out a lot of healthy snacks too. He’s awesome, though, and said to me, “Can you just send me a bag of popcorn?” I happily obliged, and decorated it with stickers and markers to make it special. I’ve found that a lot of kids with food allergies are good about managing what they can’t/cannot have and are pretty cool about it.
Wendy says
I completely agree. When did it become about candy like Halloween? I ended up making Valentine’s this year and incorporating bouncy balls, or pencils or goldfish depending on the design for each of my three children. Because though I think Valentine’s can just be about cards, you are not “cool” if you don’t include something – and candy is hard to compete with in a kid’s world.
My son’s 2nd grade teacher rewards them with candy each week – I seem to be the only parent that isn’t cool with this – and I cannot, like you, be that parent that singles my kid out and denies him what all others in the room are getting. Starting in Kindergarten they graphed with M&Ms, skittles and starburst (until then he had never had either and was just fine!)… don’t get me started… when do kids need candy to be motivated or to graph? There are other things, non food related, that go just as far – like the way words used to when we were in school. And I never needed candy to learn to graph. It’s teaching so many bad things, on many levels.
I was talking to my friend the other day with a child who is two years old and in daycare. They had a Valentine’s Day exchange there and she was mortified that someone gave her two year old Nerds and Bottle Caps. It’s hitting even our youngest children…
Amanda Herwaldt Cowan says
I’m sorry, but not having time to do much more than pick up a bag of sweettarts? I should let my kids eat those because another mom doesn’t have more time? What about my rights to NOT have my kids fed artificial colors and chemicals and fake foods?
I *TRIED* emailing other parents. My kids still got more candy than ever this year. And I compromised on the throwing it out thing, they each got to chose and eat 3 things and toss the rest.
We have a new principal coming next year and I’m hoping to get a meeting with her to discuss the sugar consumption at our school. Between using oreos to study graphs and skittles to sort colors and 26 birthdays involving donuts and store-bought cupcakes and treasure box picks of candy (I did donate $60 worth of small toys for each kids’ class treasure box) they get something completely artificial several times a week.
SO I did NOT let my kids eat ALL that Valentines’ candy they got. I completely resent moms who says “It’s just one day” because CLEARLY it is not. I get that it’s their right to feed their kids however they like outside of school, but I think it’s horrible that I have to blindly send my kids to school knowing they’ll be fed what I believe is poison. Your time restrictions shouldn’t allow you to feed my kid some 12,000 ingredient candy/cupcake
Stef says
Someone brought a bag of candy to work today which a know was the left over valentines stash. It was huge! From one child. I peeked in the bag and recognized the candy valentines that are essentially a candy package with to and from. While I was getting a glass of water and horrors decafe coffee, my diabetic colleague and pregnant colleague helped themselves to sugar, artificial dyes, and who knows what else. I’m not perfect as I was having coffee, but I felt…another reason not to bring the left overs to work. It could be harming the adults too. Though most adults are just having one on occasion.
Kristen says
I completely agree. Each holiday seems to market more junk to our children. I didn’t send in Valentine candy this year with any of my children ( I have 3 school ages and a 20 month old), and at first I felt tremendous guilt. I wondered what the kids would think when they saw that they were the only ones not giving a “treat” to their friends. What was even more shocking was that one of the teachers made it clear that the kids were not to bring in treats of any kind, but only valentines. Still parents sent in sweets! Sigh…..
Christine Klug - Healthy Habit Homestead says
I completely agree with Amanda. If you really knew what these GMO sweets are doing to our children, you would not be feeding it to your loved ones. I saw first hand with my own children what GMO’s did, and two years after removing them from our diet, we are still trying to regain our health. Look at the research other countries are doing on GMO’s. Look at the tumors on the rats. I know you don’t want your children to get these tumors, right? Then, we need to stop feeding them sugar. Sugar beets in the US are GMO’s. Only you can protect your children from getting sick, please don’t wait until it is too late. Do some research and you will be shocked what you have been putting into your children. I know, I was.
Susan L. says
RE: Christine Klug
While sugar beets comprise quite a bit of the sugar made in the United States, some does come from sugar cane. Is sugar cane a GMO?
Sally says
My understanding is that if a product just lists “sugar”, it’s a combo of sugar from sugar cane and sugar beets. Sugar beets are genetically modified, but I don’t think sugar cane is.
Shannon says
Candy and other sweets drives me and my husband crazy too! Still trying to figure out the parties that take place at school. But we have worked something out for the stuff/crap that comes home. Our solution: the candy fairy. It works for every occasion birthday parties, parades, Halloween, Christmas and in two weeks she will come again in the middle of the night and take away a bag of Valentine’s candy and leave a few silver coins and a small toy. Our daughter will even save the lollipops she gets from from the bank teller and cashier at the grocery store. Once she has half a dozen or so she will leave them for the candy fairy.