At the beginning of the school year, I made a pledge to jump off the supermom hamster wheel (read: “A Back-T0-School Pledge To Myself“). But making promises is the easy part. Keeping them is another story.
Did I make good on my pledge? The good news is that I asked for help: After just one week of school, I cried “Uncle!” The pace of our new fall schedule was just too much. I asked my husband to shuffle his work hours a bit so he could help more, and I started sharing school drop-offs with a neighbor. I also cut back on the number of evening meetings I attend. Though it means missing out on some groups I enjoy, I love being home in the evenings much, much more.
But alas, I’m still packing my fourth grader’s lunch. I vowed to hand over the reins, but the Type A control freak in me took over after just one lunch. I still find exercise a challenge. I continue to put exercise too low on my priority list. Sometimes I do short, at-home circuit workouts (like this 7-Minute Workout) and remind myself that doing something is better than doing nothing. And I’m still skimping on sleep. The thrill of an absolutely quiet house, after the kids are tucked in and the dishes are done, is too good to resist. So I stay up too late crossing things off my to-do list (read: wasting time on Facebook).
I feel good because I’m focusing on doing better. And I’m trying (in baby steps) to put my own sanity before all the other stuff.
I felt even better after I read this post from Danielle Omar of Food Confidence: “You can’t have it all…but you can have this“. She describes hearing someone talk about the myth of “having it all”–that no, you can’t have it all. But you can have what matters. She writes:
I have not stopped talking about having what matters since I heard it. I coached two clients just this week about having what matters. I have a sticky note on my computer reminding me that I have what matters. Especially this time of year when expectations are mounting, perfectionism is at a high, and your to-do list is overflowing, I beg you to ask yourself: are you trying to have it all or what really matters?
This really resonated with me. And ever since I read this, that simple five-word question comes circling back through my brain during particularly stressful moments: Do I have what matters?
The house is a wreck of Legos, plastic toy soldiers, and Matchbox cars. But do I have what matters? We never got around to carving our pumpkins or sending Christmas cards. But do we have what matters?
Once you start framing things this way, it’s much easier to focus on what you have–and not care about the stuff you don’t. And it makes striving to get everything “right” and “perfect” seem downright pointless. Read Danielle’s post to find out how having what matters changed how she’s celebrating the holidays.