I have some….shall we say, issues with candy corn.
One whiff of those syrupy-sweet kernels and most people feel sick. Me? I eat them until I get sick. My friends know this about me, so over the years they’ve given me assorted paraphernalia: candy corn stickers, candy corn earrings, candy corn socks. They think it’s funny. And I guess it is. Kind of.
As anyone with this kind of food trigger knows, it’s a drag to feel so helpless. How many times do I have to suffer through the Harvest Mix high-blood-sugar-sweats before I learn?
And like any obsessive, I have my own, ahem, “quirky” ways of eating it.
It’s yummy like this:
This tastes good too:
And these are excellent palate cleansers.
Thankfully, the good stuff—Brach’s “Made With Real Honey” corn, not the chalky generic brand—is only available about two months out of the year. It’s mid-October and I’ve only gone through two bags. This is an achievement.
If you’re looking for ways to control the candy chaos for you and your little hobgoblins, here’s my five-step, no-fail Halloween plan. It worked remarkably well last year, so I plan to follow it again.
Step 1: With the exception of my recent purchase of candy corn (which I had to buy for research purposes), I don’t pick up our trick-or-treat candy until a day or two before the big night. And I try very, very hard to buy something I don’t really enjoy (like Snickers, which I could take or leave).
Step 2: I feed my kids dinner before they go trick-or-treating so they’re not facing down a bucket of fun-size Butterfingers on an empty stomach.
Step 3: I give them free reign (oh yes, free reign) over their stash during and after trick-or-treating. So if you find a miniature Darth Vader and Yoda in wild-eyed sugar comas–with chocolate-coated chins, clutching Smarties in each sticky mitt–they belong to me and must’ve wandered away.
Step 4: When the feeding frenzy has ended, I ask them to choose 3-5 of their favorites–then leave the rest on the dining room table for the Switch Witch (who a neighbor introduced me to a few years ago). While they’re sleeping, the Witch takes their candy and replaces it with…an amazing toy! Which they love far more than a bucket of sugar.
Step 5: I pull out a few of my own faves and send the rest with my husband to his workplace.
Then I breathe a massive sigh of relief as the shelves of delicious candy corn at Target are cleared away to make room for…red and green peanut M&Ms.