Why I Hate Those “Body After Baby!” Celebrity Stories (And You Should Too)

Why I Hate Those Body After Baby Celebrity Stories

The cover of last week’s OK! magazine brings back so many memories—of me, after my son Sam was born 20 months ago, making soy protein and flaxseed smoothies in full makeup and a fashionable yet supportive tank top.

Alright, alright. For the first four (read: eight) weeks, I ate cereal out of the box, wore a threadbare robe that reeked of spit-up, and didn’t bother with makeup because I would’ve cried off mascara faster than I could apply it.

Compared to the rosy picture that OK! paints of former Playmate Kendra Wilkinson’s postpartum experience, I think mine is a bit closer to reality. Yet there she was in the grocery checkout line, where every worn-out, sweatpant-ed new mom could take inspiration from her “healthy recipes!” and “easy workouts!”

I know new moms need help. I needed help. But this “body-after-baby” celebrity drivel about Heidi Klum walking the Victoria’s Secret runway two months after her son was born and Jessica Alba hitting the gym for core exercises when her baby was just three weeks old? Not helpful.

Celebrities have trainers and extravagant meal-delivery services. They have housekeepers. And night nurses. And teams of on-call hair and makeup people. Perhaps even careers on the line if they don’t get back into their size-two skinny jeans stat.

Moms of newborns should not feel pressure to do core exercises or make smoothies. There will be time for healthy recipes and easy workouts. Later. In those first couple of months, it’s about taking care of your baby—and just surviving. And if your newborn is colicky like my Sam was, you are officially allowed to eat Doritos for dinner if it makes you happy.

That’s probably what Kendra’s secretly doing right now anyway.

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  1. says

    When *I* had my first baby, I lost 20 pounds in three weeks TOO! Actually, I lost 20 pounds in ONE DAY! (…what with the baby weighing seven pounds and that massive-alien-spaceship-of-a-placenta and all the blood and water and gross). Kendra? Shuuuuuut uuuuuuup!

  2. Kendra Hovey says

    No, no, absolutely NO need to bring added attention to this woman who has besmirched my name (which, admittedly, I cannot separate from my identity). Can’t we all just ignore her and make her go away? The real Kendras of the world got rid of the baby weight when the baby went to kindergarten.

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